So this guy makes a big financial commitment to a long-term contract and then tries to walk away from it after the first year. Who does this asshole think he is, the Marlins?

Hmmm...you mean something like:

My heart just grew three sizes

A pat of butter might be better?

The post originally referred to the California district court as a Ninth Circuit court. The court is in California’s Northern District; the Ninth Circuit has appellate jurisdiction over the Northern District, but they’re two different things. Whoops.

His entire presidency summed up in a single image.

Schmuck Dynasty?

I think he really means it this time. There is much to applaud here.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

They were calling for impeachment of Obama from the start.

This Administration is so fucking ignorant in every way. If Obama or Hillary were conducting themselves in such an uninformed and deceitful manner every Republican in America would be calling for impeachment.

It’s nice to see your political views don’t prevent you being offended by the banal exploitation of the patriotic blood sacrifice of an American.

I say we grease this rat-fuck son-of-a-bitch right now… 

Also, shout out to Alison Williams’ performance. Even when we saw the old photos, I assumed she was getting hypnotized to have all of her past interests wiped from her memory right up until the bit with the keys. And she made a great determined psychopath at the end, would like to see her in more roles like that.

Don’t worry. This judge is on borrowed time. Once Jeff Sessions is...

This is some petty shit and I am living for it.

Of course it’s Tiffany’s box.

Yep. Not sure how old you are, but I’m 50 and have been working for 32 years. My wife and I both make a good living and don’t have kids. If the work-life balance is shit, what’s the point? I’m very clear when I interview- I take all my vacation time, I don’t work 12 hours a day and calling me after hours has to be…

Anyway, we know where this is going: Someone is going to have to lure Donald Trump out of Trump Tower with a six-foot portrait of himself and force him to be president.

“That’s in part because they are fuckin’ idiots.” You are on the right track here, but it’s worse than that. Not all of them are idiots so much as they are delusional. They think all of what Trump is doing is an acceptable price to pay for not having a leader who’s personality they “didn’t like.” Already my…