God almighty, the Republican defenses today.

GMG was/is the one corner of the internet where I’m NOT afraid to read the comments. It’s been a good 10+ years, guys.

I don’t give a shit about sports but I’d read great articles on Deadspin constantly. I don’t give a shit about cars, but I was frequently exposed to great reads on Jalopnik because the sites are all connected. I’m not black but I’ve read some amazing content on The Root. I can only assume other readers are like me,…

I truly cannot believe how stupid Jimbo and his cronies are. Truly bewildering how stupid you have to be in order to come in and tank a popular series of sites so you can reap the cash from them and then move on.

This all absolutely fucking blows. I don’t have much hope that my favorite little corner of the internet is going to survive all of this intact, but I do hope above all else that things go well for all the editorial staff from the entire family of sites.

I’m about to need an actual barf bag.

The cross-site revolt makes me very happy.

I like, like, 2 basketball teams and no other sports. I read Deadspin DAILY, all year. I don’t want them to stick to sports, and I’m mad, and sad, and I still miss Gawker, and this sucks. 

Jizz Jim is going to have to pry Drew’s annual Williams-Sonoma holiday catalog review from my cold, dead hands.

Here’s all the shit we really couldn’t cover today:

Fuck Jim Spanfeller, who is a herb

There’s absolutely zero reason to believe this is anyone other than Geoff Cameron, who is an idiot. Also, it’s extremely Good and Normal that he knows that the official merch of the President of the United States is the opposite of anti-fascist stuff.

Stabby part at 2:26

The best part? Her beloved leader keeps complaining that Sadiq isn’t doing enough about knife-wielding lunatics on the streets of London, so here’s a perfect time to show what happens to them!

Which is really why you should use the hot dog shuttle service provided by the possums.

Nope; it should have been done a while ago.

The stadiums are designed to distract you no matter what age you are, even when players are at-bat. Vendors, stuff on the video boards, food and drink...the teams/orgs themselves are doing what they can to keep you from paying full attention.

And nevermind how fucking fast…

We live in the best possible time to be alive on Earth.