One of my first ever comments on Jez was when they announced their wedding date, because my second child was due the week of their wedding and I had wanted to use the middle name Kate for my grandmother if it was a girl and had a minor pregnant lady tizzy people would think we’d named the baby after the former Ms.…

Aw I love happy Brandon Fraser! (Don’t know if that’s the right spelling, don’t care enough to look. Sorry Brandon/Brendon? Loved you as George!)

This sounds like Lana! So many Lana rip offs lately

I don’t know what ethnicity you are but let’s say you’re white, your parents are white and so are all of your direct relatives. If you found out that one of your great-great-great-great-great grandparents were Asian, would you, right now, this very minute, consider yourself biracial? Because for me, it would just mean…

That was masterful, Bobby. I was like “who could it be?!” wondering what level of horror I would reach ... and then the Lovitz shot. Just NO. I actually said, out loud, in my office all alone “NO”.

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

Thanks to you I have been singing “FFV” all morning.

Don’t worry, most of us understood the sarcasm inherent in your statement.

what about the FIRST AMENDMENT, Robert DeNiro

Better a baby with a full head of hair than a baby with a full back of hair?

This was the most confusing Tip Tester post yet. I didn’t see Andy anywhere!

nah, splitting the check is going to dominate seeing someone naked. They’re just out to an early lead, check-splitting has too much depth on the bench that’ll rout nakedness in 24 hours.

Oh please, I started dancing when I was a toddler. Now I’m 30 and my hips are....about 80 years old and my knee cap tends to slip out of joint and I hate the rain. Probably a bad example. Or maybe a perfect one.

Welp, I guess it’s time to face it: I have horrible taste in movies. I own My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I love The Devil Wears Prada. And Love Actually. And How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I don’t care anymore. If that makes me wrong, I don’t want to be rightttttttttttt!!!!!!!!

Gawd I love Mireille Enos. If you haven’t seen The Killing, you must. Love her and everything about her. And the ending to the series is absolutely perfect.

Sure the stairs to the attic are “too fragile to use”. There’s NO ONE up there.

I love the Lonely Island SO MUCH. The absurdity of Threw it on the Ground makes me laugh out loud every time, and I sing it on the reg to my food and toy throwing infant.

I came here expecting:

This is good Jezebelopnik.

Wow, that’s the most racist photoshop I’ve seen so far today! Congratulations, asshole.