Hillbilly tool Nazi alert: this video is annoying because only one person is doing it right - Charles Bronson. You don’t split wood with an ax, you split wood with a splitting maul. A maul flares out wider from the cutting edge to the back end of the haft than an axe, which makes it better suited to splitting than an…

Can we talk about Matt Stairs?

Not to be the worst person on Deadspin, but if that’s what passes for 40 yards, then I’ve graduated to a 6-inch peen. Don’t be lazy. It’s 18 to the end of the box, plus <3 5-yard segments. Even Joe Hart would’ve stopped this from 40. This is 33 tops.