I walk better in heels when drunk. Apparently the instabilities cancel each other out. Does that happen to anyone else?

Mine was the coffee cup on the floor. But now that you mention it, I’m also concerned about her plans for that bowl full of marshmallows.

What I mean is that I want that red bra. Where can I get it?

That one was my favorite, even better than the Razr. Fit so nicely in your palm, clicked shut so satisfyingly. And OMG, the wonders of sexting with T9. So fast, no text lag at all to gum up the pace.

Master-owning P!

I’m pretty sure it refers to the last leg of your journey on Earth.

Yeah, you wouldn't want his actual family member to address the issue when he's got a business to defend and promote!

I never understood why he'd bring his family into battle with him.

The kid crying in that video is the kicker.

Because I’m a child who had to take a screenshot before I liked your comment:

There was a post a few months ago where everyone lambasted the few folks who admitted to getting handsy in the back seat. So it might be hard to get accurate numbers on the phenomenon.

As annoying as Taxi TV may be, it’s still better than what preceded it: a blaring recording of the Snapple lady telling you to buckle your seatbelt when the meter turned on, and to gather your belongings when the meter turned off. At least Taxi TV has an off button that sometimes works.

She’s of Italian/Irish ancestry. Who said she was Latina?

I was just thinking that we should pre-emptively file a class action.

Yeah, I kind of feel as though this article’s equating 6.3” with average tells us more about Mark’s dick than anything else. So... Congrats, Allen!

But there are certain very enjoyable positions that a short dick just slips out of. I’d like to be democratic and all, but...

Always a good investment.

Yes, it’s the worst.

I’m honored and touched. In all the ways.

Someone on Gothamist actually looked up the stroller in the video; it cost closer to $1500. Oy.