I'm still laughing that the household owns a hair dryer for every bed. Because at some point they had to go shopping for them, and actively chose to buy bedroom hair dryers instead of, oh, maybe fans or white noise machines or hot water bottles or electric blankets.

I know that guy!

Flynn's is by far my favorite, though I do find myself intrigued by Kristoff's potential. The Beast's glowing pink crazy bush terrifies me.

Except for the skinny ones that look somewhat like lit cartoon candles. Dicks on fire do kind of upset me. (Especially so close to highly flammable bed sheets. And pubes.)

Tying a guy to the bed with your hair seems like a pretty nifty sex act to me, if you've got the hair to do it. Not complaining at all, btw.

For me, mashed potatoes are merely a convenient vehicle/excuse to consume gravy. But as I see it, using the Bill Cosby school of listing ingredients to justify bad food choices, gravy is just chicken noodle soup (water, flour, chicken juice) in another form, so I don't feel too bad about it.

Which is odd to me because the first Ranch Abuser I ever met was in Costa Mesa. I didn't see anyone else do weird ranch shit for years, until my Ohio friend put it on pizza, so for the longest time I thought it was only a SoCal thing.

See, when you said it was because they were Catholic, I immediately assumed it was to hide the sinful sounds of baby-making. I still don't understand how families with lots of kids manage to have more kids. Where do they find the time, let alone privacy?

oh dear god I really hope this happens just as you've described.

That is my favorite expression for just about any situation.

Jinger? That's really a name? Oh wait, are they one of those all-kids-have-the-same-initial families, and it's pronounced Ginger? Because I was reading Jing-er, and it just sounded ... I don't know, dirty in some way? Like jinging would be the kind of sex act you read about in Urban Dictionary.

Wait a minute, WHAT?! (runs to find out how to get on a ballot somewhere.)

To be fair, the quote says that it will be *their* first kiss, as in with each other. Doesn't mean they haven't kissed other people before. Also, the statement comes from HER DAD. I'm sure my dad would have also liked to believe that I was only holding hands with my boyfriends when I was still living under his roof,…

And many of those stalls are now labeled "handicap/family" for just that reason.

The rest of you parents with an ample babysitting budget, you mean?

No, but Rebecca alluded to that, at the end of the article. She wasn't casting it that way, but was predicting/worrying that some people might spin it that way. Possibly JassonB was referring to that?

I'm guessing you meant that comment not for an individual commenter, but rather for the article itself? Specifically the part at the end about saving women from public embarrassments? Agreed, it is a parent thing, not a woman thing, but the sexist types do have a habit of denigrating a public good if they think it…

Yes! Exactly!

Remember those potted plastic flowers that "danced" when you played music near them? That's what dancing baby groot reminds me of, and that's a merch tie-in I would line up to buy!

I want dancing baby groot nails! Bonus if they actually danced!