You know it’s not about “following the rules” but enforcing them. It’s not about “fear of threatening behavior” because these self-appointed Barney Fifes first walk right up to people, engage them in conversation then stand around awaiting for the police to give them confirmation of their self-righteousness. These…

Dude, it was the 1980s. They used to let us roam around unsupervised construction sites on the weekends.

It’s peak patriarchy, but I don’t think Khloe has the brain capacity to understand why or how.

THANK YOU. Yes, basic here is meant that she wasn’t into interesting, edgy things and may have dared to like some common, popular things. It is a term almost exclusively levied against women and I hate it. And men are never called basic for liking football or beer.

Pumpkin spice latte is less basic than thinking your cool because you like the Melvins and Bladerunner.

He helpfully illustrated her point for her.

What does basic mean? That she didn’t like the cool manly bands and movies he did?

But doesn't that say more about what a shallow person Ryan Adams is than anything bad about Mandy Moore? If he found her basic then and they didn't share interests, why did he marry her? He looks like even more of a dick now. 

This is Ryan Adams, not Bryan Adams.

Like with Stephanie Beatriz away from Brooklyn Nine Nine, I am always thrown when I hear Brian Baumgartner’s “real” non-Kevin voice.

Dude, you’re the one who did the blind taste test, and wrote an article on your food blog about it.

Which begs the questions as to why this is a featured article to being with. I mean clearly you don’t care about it that much; and rightfully so, and it really just reads like an eccentric personal journal entry.

It’s actually just an article in which you try to establish trust so you can get paid on a mildly interesting and purposefully divisive topic...

That’s not the kind of victory in question, though. The point is that he’ll never actually change this more commercial aspect of the art world no matter how hard he tries.

Every year or so I rewatch Exit Through The Gift Shop and get reminded that Banksy rules. His art has always been pretty good and interesting but that is really his masterpiece. This is funny, too.

I make my friends pay me back in Interpretative Dance.

What you should do is start talking to your other friends about how cheap she is behind her back. Really build up some animosity. Then if you ever go out together again, ask for split checks, but only 2 of them. One for the table and one for her. And if you’re in line for coffee tell Claire and Alice to go ahead and…

*laughter turning into inconsolable sobbing*

Good, the 49ers need a new QB.

One of my all time favs goes, unsurprisingly, to The Simpsons:
“Come on Homer, you enjoy Japanese culture. You liked Rashomon.”
“That’s not the way I remember it.”

It’s not complicated—you can explain the joke in about five seconds to someone who hasn’t seen the movie—but if you have, it’s just instantly hilarious.