Some of the characters from I carry over to II, and the gods are by and large the same (some are called by different names in different places). Although gaming was certainly part of the genesis of the series, I think Erikson is really aiming at the contradictory complexity of the real world. He doesn't always hit…

Well, sure. Or they've become obsessed with putting their own stank on it.

Jake Baker, is that you?

No, of course I'd keep my mouth shut. But Keith is writing a column, not interacting with friends. If Commodore wanted a spoiler-free experience, he should have avoided criticism of the series.

As ridiculous as the notion that you should be protected from spoilers of a show that first aired nearly 20 years ago?

I don't know—I really like "War of the Four Kings and that Greyjoy asshole again."

The crow flies straight
Up yer bum
Sing an octave up
For no good reason

Oh, fucking quit it already.

That's not the reason they're called "red wings". It's a reference to biker culture; the wings are actual patches that go on your jacket (or sometimes tattoos). So red wings for sex with a menstruating woman, yellow wings for drinking pee, blue wings for having sex with a policewoman, etc.

They missed a great opportunity to cast him as one of the Ironborn so that Dagmar Cleftjaw could constantly insult him.

The analogues to medieval Europe are loose. They're intended to evoke, not represent.

Uh, not exactly. St John Chrysostom (4th century) called sodomy worse than murder. Same-sex activities were also condemned at the Council of Ancyra (AD 314) and the Emperors Constantius II and Constans, in AD 342, declared the death penalty for catamites.

"…but James Franco's mustache looks pretty fuckin' gay!"

It's not just the child actors' fault in Phantom Menace. The script is beyond crap, and the director seemed to think he was shooting a sitcom.

But once she turns all the men into swine, she'll have her revenge.

It was jarring. The song is fine, and the performance is great—it just all of a sudden turned into the fucking Knight's Tale, or a Sofia Coppola movie.

Augustus Caesar wasn't exactly a party animal. And Robert seems awfully sullen, dour and grumpy when he's not roaring drunk.

No, Robert is Tiberius.

She's not Westerosi nobility, no. But a Volantene noblewoman is not a commoner in Westeros, any more than an Italian count would be a commoner in England.

She's not a commoner. Talisa Maegyr is a Volantene noblewoman.