I heard she likes to drink chilled gin, straight. She is my hero.

I’m not going to lie. I would pay good money to view Downtown Abbey with the Queen’s commentary. I probably couldn’t afford the ticket if it were possible. :(

“That’s not how you have a tryst in Liverpool! I should know”.

I will lay good money that she is the Queen of scathing commentary particularly when accompanied by a glass of Dubonnet.

I bet Her Majesty can drag you like a fresh carcass when necessary.

Why don’t you take a seat over there, Jared?

Thank you.

The moldy comforters

I bet you can still order Irish Car Bombs like it's going out of style though.

These are all drinks to be ordered at bachelorette parties or people who are destined to attend them. might as well call them Penis Tiaras or Bag of Gummi Penises.

Please tell me this doesn’t affect Bloody Marys or it’s the end of brunch as we know it.

I’m fine with these being removed but you try eliminating the “Slippery Nipple” and there’ll be hell to pay!

I’LL PUT DOWN A DROP CLOTH

I will never forgive randi for this particular gif.

Add that to the list of things I know not to look up while at work....