UGH. Randylin already scarred my brain with that one.

noooooooooooooooooo

This is what dreams are made of.

Make sweet love to me on a diaper changing table in a public bathroom at a rest stop.

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest babies who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation passing gas, waiting for naps; slaves with white diapers. Mommy has us chasing toys and laser pointers, eating pablum we hate so we can make shit for our…

All I can picture is her saying “divorce” in her obnoxious fake Italian accent (pronouncing it “di-vorrr-chay”) and then giggling to herself while those airport tower spotlights of teeth blind me through the TV screen.

Boo, I don’t much care for nepotism. She only got a show because of her Grandfather. It’s not like she’s a better cook than any other tv chef. Nigella Lawson's crazy ass is better. Mainly I’m just angry that there isn’t a Swedish Chef cooking show.

Well yeah, this is the case for most wealthy/successful men, so no surprise.

Her original face was so cute. Like a more delicate-featured Kesha, no?

This. She seems to have been told she was only worth her looks her whole life. Hello, body dysmorphia.

A history of the porn iguana’s faces (the second to last was taken in May 2015):

I’m not defending these kids, but if their order got messed up and they’d been having a bad day, I can see how they’d be mad. Like, maybe their fries were too crispy and one of them is allergic to crunchy? I don’t think everyone needs to be jumping down their throats just because they made a mistake once. I once…

What’s your damage?

Yeah ... they do that.

LOL bless you, girl. I love her too but she looks like she’s about to sneeze like a mother fucker.

Well, the important thing is that she learned her lesson.

Say goodbye to that teeny tiny vagina girl, and not peeing when you laugh.

Cher makes Yoko sound like Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

Is “Chairity” when you donate a La-Z-Boy?