Yeah, it was the whole “He’s. My. Bro. Ther! You sick fuck!” thing. I get how that would be squicky.

There are some pretty crazy ones, and some of them are actually convincing if you don’t think about them too too much.

Aww =( Don’t cry!

The bottle that Kurt Russell offers Keith David towards the end of The Thing is actually one of the Molotov cocktails they were chucking around earlier. David’s character would obviously recognise that he was chugging down a bottle of gasoline. But the Thing wouldn’t…

Willy Wonka may seem like a nice, fun-loving guy in “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,” but one fan theory points out that the chocolatier may have purposely invited children to his factory knowing that they would die there. After Augustus Gloop is sucked up the tube, the crew gets on a boat, but there aren’t two…

That’s better than a wallet made of foreskin. (When you rub it, it turns into a briefcase.)

It’s true!

Dude, they’re worth 500 trillion! (Read it on the world wide web.) That’s a lotta bananaskins.

He was a weary traveler.

Or maybe he simply had too many Thetans? Ocelots Razor and all.

What degree of Freemason was he?

If I were a dude and I knew those two stories I’d steer clear of me.

It was a very shortsighted plan. But it seemed like it would be hiiiiiiilarious at the time.

• Wine

They never got offended when people told them “I can’t tell you two apart!” (any other twins I encountered always tried to look different.) They regularly switched places when they played [sports game] and messed with people at their work. I guess that was their Thing.

Oh. My. Lords. Of. Kobol.

Done and done.

It’s been spilled. Somewhere down there.