It’s uuuuuupthread =). Wait, no, downthread.

TW: Possible consent issues. TW: Gimp Bag.

Maybe I’ll read a book instead. It’s safer.

I made it! Thanks Madeleine, thanks everyone who starred me, thanks Grey Label, and of course thank you to [redacted] and your right nut.

Living in that house must be like watching a bunch of floozies trying to hump a wrinkly door knob.

Hockey analogies are hit and miss here. Especially in the off season.

Ruffled. Blog.

Jesus fuck. IT’S JUST LIKE WHEN THEY PULL THE GOALIE OUTTA THE NET.

I got this. You can all huddle in my bunker and I’ll lead you to salvation... Or to Swiss Chalet for a Quarter Chicken Dinner (extra sauce, even!) if it turns out to be a false super blood moon alarm.

A bump? What are these people? New?! Get the fuck right outta here with your your tacky little bumps.

I can’t imagine just reaching out and touching someone’s face like that without warning. But apparently other people can, and do, and then just go ahead and start poking and rubbing other people’s visages. There should be a PSA about that.

Heathers.

Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw... There’s no tongue covered in thick white fur hanging out of her mouth!!!

I’ve had people try to smudge it to embarrass me (nope!) and countless Auntie types coming at me with napkins. Even still someone will occasionally try to write my face.

Yes! The face wiping of other adults is bananas.

At least her mole is a bump kinda mole. The one I have beside my mouth is a flat black one and people regularly insist that it’s food stuck to my face or that it’s fake and I had it tattooed on/Sharpie on every morning.

She’s an annoying little dweeb. I hope her bodyguard drops her in a pile of soggy leaves the next time she demands to be carried.