Zlatan may not be the step-father that MLS wanted but dammit he’s the step-father they damn sure need. Now go get your new Dad a beer from the fridge before he has some alone time with MLS mom.

The last time I posted this gif, I was (and still am) Deadspin-grayed by Kelsey.

I knew a guy who spent a summer - two months! - in England, and came back with the accent. On top of that, he would say things like "Do you have any crisps, or as you would say, chips?" But after a couple of beers he'd forget and his Wisconsin accent was back.

This reminds me of the time when John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world and he responded that he wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles... that person was Zlatan.

FYI, if they have an accent when they come back or ever say ‘I forget the word in English’, you’re legally allowed to bludgeon them with a hammer.

Hell yeah. My first thought was “at least Steven Adams is a lot of fun!”

I, for one, look forward to Steven Adams appearing in the State Farm commercials.

Free Chris Paul

That’s okay, she can certainly do better so she’s coming out ahead in this situation.

What’s worse is that there’s probably a perfectly lovely girl he knows who’d put up with his shit and love him, except he thinks he can do better.

I’m sure the ball will have a place of honor in his mom’s basement.

I wonder what his girlfriend think about all th.... hahahahahaha, sorry couldn’t make it to the end.

What do you think? Must a fan always give a baseball to a kid, even if it’s a walk-off dinger? Or is Mai Tai Guy a hero and an example to grown men everywhere who still bring baseball gloves to games?

his assessment of drink choices at a baseball game (probably 11 bucks for a beer and 12 for the mai tai) is spot on

Every adult that brings a glove to a game and doesn’t have a kid with them should be put on some sort of list.

No cap, no max contract size, no draft, no college basketball, and the bottom four teams at the end of each regular season get relegated to a semipro league and replaced by that league’s top four teams.

Somewhere, Rex Ryan is scrambling to find a way to superimpose his face onto Shaq’s in that footage.

Many of them consider the very existence of ESPN-Deportes to be a personal attack against their way of life.

Congrats on joining us here at what I like to call, the punchline

According to Merrian-Webster, “unlikely” can mean not only “not likely” but also “likely to fail,” “not promising,” or “not seeming to be right or suited for a purpose.” As in, “dribbling out the clock was an unlikely use of the remaining time in regulation.”