Meanwhile, Gates has that watching-the-valet-park-my-Bentley look.

Smart move actually. The first half was almost over so if you didn't score, Syracuse had horrible field position.

There's such a thing as running up the score before halftime?! Grow a pair, coach.

I think they were just looking for his wallet. This is Cleveland.

meanwhile Riley Cooper attempted to distract the Broncos D by yelling "Uncle Toms"

If you had stopped before the last sentence, this would be fine. If all this guy was is a shit-stirrer, and he really doesn't cover anything or he's some anachronistic hack, then get rid of him.
But "the fact that THE COACH had said that's enough" is complete total suck-ass, small-minded, jock-sniffing hero worship…

Well, it is Steve Spurrier, the same man who still holds a grudge against UGA since the 1966 Dawgs ended the previously unbeaten Gators' shot at a their first SEC championship and possible national championship with a 27-10 victory.

I fully expect the new guy's columns to have hearts drawn around the Old Ball Coach's face and XXOOXXXOOO as the final lines. Is this a newspaper or Tiger Beat?

Having lived and worked in South Carolina for almost a decade, I can safely say that the good ol' boy network is in full effect throughout South Carolina.

Just one more reason to root against Old Sour Puss

You laugh, but this is exactly the intention. This isn't to make grabbing a meal for four easier to obtain. This is to allow the common fat ass to order* something with 12,000 calories more quickly and shamelessly.