Especially when they could have have him merc’d the good ole fashion way.

Has anyone questioned Hillary yet?

I mean, we can wait a few months until the emails leak, but I feel we should probably find out more ASAP.

Looks like a hit to me.

And hey it’s apparently pure. No one ever had a bad time on real mdma (properly hydrated and under adult supervision). It’s the identical looking knock off Tesla’s filled with trucker speed and rat poison coming next week that you’ve got to look out for.

Counterpoint: 120 mg of MDMA is not that strong, and pressed pills have been in the 200-250 mg range for years now. Bet if you flipped that Tesla one over there’d be a cut mark for splitting it in half.

We got “rally” already.

Well it looks so generic that you can slap a bowtie on it and call it the new Chevy Traverse.

Terra - Earth

Yes, my heart breaks for the PTSD suffered by the rapist who got caught, convicted, and was punished with a slap on the wrist.

Mud is generally found around the perimeter of roads.

People who heckle comics must be suckers for punishment.. picking a fight with a person who is literally there because they are funny (and often incisive and quick thinkers), in a setting where literally 99.9% of the people present like them and are -at best- indifferent to you.

XJguy at 11:41pm reminds us of cycles

damn bro you put way too much effort into making fun of people on the internet

Univision4EVAH at 10:50pm asks the most important question of our lives

CucumberVlad at 10:59pm just says

eye-surgeon at 11:12pm reminds us of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

At 11:14pm MrMojoIsMojo gives a bit longer of a routine

At 10:45pm irieite came in with this zinger

Hey how’s everybody doing I hope everyone’s doing great. Some folks wrote some comedy comments so I want to make sure that their comedic talents are fully appreciated by everyone at Jalopnik so I’ll start up a thread to give out some cheers and some jeers.

They did- they’re called Capri Sun, and when they finished they blew air through the straw and sent the little empty packets flying across the room. DUH