Now THIS is what I’m talking about. This is how you do an alternate history. I can’t WAIT to see this.

I thought bears usually try their best to avoid being exposed to the light. I guess those are just the Baylor ones.

So wait, they’re angry that unnecessary objectification and sexualization is being removed from their games, so they’re accusing one of the people who works on the games of... sexualizing and objectifying characters?

one offensive lineman’s spine right out of the guy’s back

Is Ariana Grande Actually a Baby Raccoon?

If I or the AI did this in NBA2K16, Id go into options and fiddle with the sliders for a more realistic game. This is fucking ridiculous.

When I take my family to a public sacrifice to appease the cruel god of the void, I really hate it when an acolyte of Ner’huul makes an extra flourish with his bone knife or, and gosh this is THE WORST, when the High Priest makes a big show of eating the heart of the spring virgin. It’s like, act like you’ve BEEN…

I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

Omnitake *

For when the One Sports Network comes

If dude could bench 600, he could have picked her up in her desk and carried the whole thing out.

Because . . . they lost the opener?

How about some empathy for the Bear? He has been having that recurring nightmare where he shows up to school naked, and now it’s really happening?

I bet CC Sabathia was even more upset he missed the game when he heard that the stadium was full of boos.

I know the NFL rulebook is long and long-winded as fuck, but I did not expect to see the word “disconcert” in it. I interpret this to mean the inside linebackers can’t make eerie howling noises at the opposing center in the hope of making him shit all over himself and his quarterback’s hands.

Of all teams, Penn State should know that shit only stays buried for so long.

@BillSimmons