How hilarious (and gross) would it be if the cops were all making a big to do over some girl's really clumpy period blood?

Seriously. If anything, the fetus abandoned you???

"Honey, for your birthday we bought you twenty yards of absorbent cotton cloth. We will never speak of this again."

Back when I was 14, I was masturbating like no tomorrow. Once or twice a day for about two years, I would beat the meat in my bedroom and then proceed to ejaculate all over my carpet.

When I worked at an animal shelter, we had people bring a cat in. A guy came in, spotted the cat and about shit - it was his girlfriend's cat. She had gone to college and her dick parents, who had said they would care for the cat in her absence, had told her the cat had been eaten by a coyote - they said there was no…

I have back hair and when I was growing up I thought it was the grossest thing ever and was ashamed of it. Several times I've had it Naired off before vacation (very natural-looking, trust me. No one would suspect a thing) (never) and last year I actually had it waxed, which was so incredibly painful that the…

ED chicks I have met seem to be very cunning, very good at winning arguments, and very good at math.

Seems like Skeletor could teach these Twitter trolls a thing or two (from Skeletor is Love)

I also found that surprising. Before I read Trainspotting, I assumed VPL was something gross we must all strive to avoid. After I read it I was like: huh, some guys find it hot? That's weird. I guess I had always been made to think that VPL was an embarrassing thing for other people to see, that it made me look sloppy…

It was a flip phrase. I wave the white thong. Let's end this conflict.

Thongs have VPL too, just look at any basic in the summer, wearing a cotton "town gown"

I was specific that that is no longer the lifespan. It does an extraordinary disservice to compare the time and medical intervention and work and money and educational resources necessary to raise a child with Down Syndrome with that required for a child without a serious genetic abnormality. Trisomies (there are…

Pretending that a trisomy is a mild condition doesn't actually do anyone with Down Syndrome any favors. It's a medical condition that commonly includes serious congenital cardiac malformations, typically requiring surgical correction. Thyroid disease and malformations of the GI tract are common. Acute lymphoblastic…

I lost my dildo in my parents house. I'm hoping it somehow rolled out the door into the garbage can. Please Hera, make it so.

any future offspring may well get my last name to prove I can.

Sorry not sorry, when I read this all I can think is "totes jelly."

You don't have to love everyone, you're just supposed to, idk, not be a fucking dick. There's a difference.

NO. If a famous adulp posts pictures of herself in a certain way, she's posting what will be percieved as an ideal. Maybe not by all, but they will. And I certainly cannot condone putting on your four year old clothes. That's promoting unhealthy, unattainable beauty standards and effectively shaming those poor…

I am old (52) and I feel gorgeous. Know why? Cuz I no longer have to be "hot" to be loved. I am adored by my hubby (also VERY hot) and I am adored by the people who matter to me. And I am wrinkled and saggy and cellulitey. I have never felt more beautiful. I move in my body with a playfulness and lack of…