1. Go Jeff Gillooly on Stephen Curry.
2. Go Jeff Gillooly on Klay Thompson.
3. Go Jeff Gillooly on Draymond Green.
4. Go Jeff Gillooly on Andre Iguodala.
5. Go Jeff Gillooly on Shaun Livingston.
6. Go Jeff Gillooly on Harrison Barnes.

7. Introduce little-seen bench players “Devon Kurant” and “Jim Duncan.”

A fresh lawsuit from T.J. Maxx, funded by Peter Thiel, should be filed momentarily.