“I regert that I only have one star to give to this comment.”

-Nathan Hale if he were alive today, probably.

Good. I hope he takes that police department for every penny they got. Get that money, young man. Get that money.

I see we can add “patriot” to the ever growing list of words that Donald Trump doesn’t know the meaning of.

Check on your black friends today. More than likely they are not okay.

Mother Nature is 100% that bitch, and I’m here for it.

I damn near did a spit take when I read Gaffigan’s profanity laced tirade about Trump. You know that things are getting real when you can get Jim freaking Gaffigan to start cussing like a sailor.

His wife kinda put him in his place, though, which I found to be even more hilarious.

Damn these Jehovah’s witnesses are getting aggressive!

Bravo, sir.

This current Florida has Florida’d harder than it’s ever Florida’d.

To be fair, if I woke up one morning and realized that I’ve enrolled in Bob Jones University I’d start drinking heavily.

Clearly we white people cannot be trusted. 

Man, bleach may get out stains, but nothing can eradicate progress like wypipo tears.

Nice!

In other words, he was told not to attend so he claims it was HIS decision because everything has to be about him.

I can’t decide if I wanna go with “Thoughts and prayers” or “womp womp”.

Perhaps I’ll go with both.

Damn she fine as hell.

I’ll never understand racists’ obsession with second-place finishers. The Confederate South, Nazi Germany, Trump supporters. It just blows my mind.

Lying bitch gets called a lying bitch. Film at 11.

“Den Hollander died by apparent suicide”

And nothing of value was lost...

You’re thinking of Tom Brady