CLAM JUICE SHOULD NOT BE A THING.

CURRENT: shoulder hair. My bf is a hairy yeti-man and I have grown to covet his endless body fur. When we get down to business I can grab onto his hairy shoulders and when we cuddle I just kind of rub them and get all excited by the sensory awesomeness that is body hair. It's primal and it's soft and manly and boy…

Happy trails. Man sweat. Speaking in a foreign language. Juggling a soccer ball. Driving safely. Knowing how to start a fire. A well placed curse word. The band of a guy's boxers sticking out slightly from the waistline of his jeans. Shirt sleeves rolled up to the forearms. Assuming I want queso and ordering it…

Tracie, I've loved working with you here and cannot wait to see what you have up your sleeve at your new job with [REDACTED COMPANY]. I'll never forget the time the entire Jezebel staff [REDACTED SUBSTANCE] on your roof and then took [REDACTED SUBSTANCE] while sharing our mutual weird sex fantasies about [REDACTED…

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

"Someday my prince will cum."