A 10-year suspended sentence means if he violates probation he goes away for 10 years, not that he’s on probation for 10 years. He could have had a 10-year sentence suspended for 5 years. In fact, it must have been the case or he would be in jail as we speak. 

God, passive aggressive notes are still a thing that white people do? 

Whelp, I’m gonna get me a rocking chair, a bag of Werther’s chocolates, and start voting Republican I guess, because I am officially too old for this shit.

Han shot first?

I’ve loved MOST of the F&F movies but every now and again it tickles me to be like, “Remember when this was about guys who drove Honda’s and stole DVD players?” 

With Johnson and Statham’s bald heads, the movie is much more enjoyable if you pretend that Idris’ super soldier is fighting two genetically-modified, sentient testicles.

The packers are not capable of putting anyone other than Aaron Rodgers on a stretcher.  I’ve seen them play.

FIFY

I’ve lived in every major city in Ohio (go ahead, make your joke).

I thought you might be an ignoramus, but now I see you are worse. We all make choices in life. You should make better choices.

They made an interesting argument on the latest, I think, Ringer NFL Show podcast. There was essentially an argument that Marvin Lewis is underappreciated as the Bengals organization itself is so dysfunctional and horrible that what he achieved there was actually remarkable. It was just that it never got them that big…

Holy shit. This may be the darkest, most depressing entry in the history of this series:

In fairness, Zac Taylor is what every CPAC attendee thinks they look like what they actually look like is:

I remember being excited for David Klingler’s first start in 1992. He was sacked 10 times in that game.

How dare you make me laugh out loud in my quiet office.

It’s 2019 bro. You shouldn’t be using that word. There is enough hate in the world. No need to propagate more.

I think a combined no-hitter is more about how bad the losing team was than a single-pitcher no-hitter, which is a personal achievement.

Combined no hitters when they pull the starter short of 100 pitches just don’t feel the same to me. 

Kevin did say the article was about the race to the bottom!

I tried Jack In The Box once, and my ass played “Pop Goes The Weasel” for 3 days.