We essentially had a fight the previous day. I walked in on her cutting her toenails on my bed which is, as Tommy Haverford would say, “an oh-no-no.”

It’s true. I would also bang Mr. Pamuk to death.

Agreed. If that’s slut-shaming, well, I can live with that.

DIVE. DIVE. DIVE.

This is is a big part of why roommates suck.

“How is having sex with a canoeist like drinking Foster’s beer?”

THIS.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

It’s more that I expect the cats to not really give a shit as long as they get fed, which seems the mindset you’d need to work for the Trump campaign. (Also, I was making a Simpsons reference, but possibly one that’s too obscure, or else I fumbled the wording.)

Bullshit. You don’t get into Harvard in the first place without doing exceptionally. The whole ‘better grades’ thing is a canard. There are a handful of slots to go to a handful of students, all of whom are at the level where they absolutely could get into Harvard. Harvard, thanks to affirmative action, now makes sure…

that’s insulting to 7-year-olds ;)

According to these idiots, it’s a bad thing because you denied some much more deserving white person a place. What makes them much more deserving? They’re white.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

What the Shit!?!?!? I thought you were just posting a made up funny goof about how it would be so absurd if a cartoon duck was a hate-spewing monster.

Actually I don’t see an end to that any time soon... unless cities/states step up with some regulations.

The Old Spice must flow.

My father died from liver failure when I was 11, basically drank himself to death. I can tell you that no one who loved him - me, my mom, his friends, brothers and sisters, have ever once felt as though his life was a waste. His death, absolutely - biggest fucking waste. But his sense of humor, his warmth, his LIFE -…

I know this might never be seen by the author or editors, but I have to say this chain of posts has been some of the most incredible, powerful, moving, and REAL posts on Jezebel. Quality writing, spoken straight from the heart. As someone in a different program there is so much here that speaks to addiction,…

“I need to get drunk to feel good about myself.”