He can fill any crevice in an NFL pancake with warm, earnest syrup, a metaphor I now regret.
BurnerIII
notuniqueid
Having lived there several years, Missouri is the show me the way out of here state
Black Mizzou Twitter had a field day yesterday
In the era of Tony Romo seemingly having bugged the QB helmet-speakers, the difference between high quality commentary and everyone else has never been so self-apparent.
Imagine Gronk sitting in the booth wearing one of those beer can hats and a “shit happens when you party naked” t-shirt, and whenever Tessitore asks him how it feels to see Brady throwing passes to another tight end, he bellows “Uhhhh, GRONK SAD!!”
Needs fire in dumpster.
Who wrote that? Joe Biden?
Give me Rex and Rob Ryan about 200 beers deep each and it’ll probably be the greatest broadcast of all time. If anyone needs to pursue this, it’s HBO. Make it fucking happen!
Antiques Shitshow: how much is this old print of Song of the South worth?
Nobody learned anything from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
It’s not just an ESPN problem. Out of all the crews that call games each Sunday, there are only a few who are worth a damn.
On a scale of one to five, how many Romos do you give Booger?
They took a chance on Gruden who everyone thought would jump right back into coaching, and he stuck around forever.
ESPN derives an absurd amount of income from the NFL. So it’s in their best interest to have the broadcaster of MNF be nothing more than a cheeerleader so shamelessly in the tank for the NFL. If the NFL asked him to shove a football up his ass, Tessitore would set the land speed record racing to the store to buy lube.
Hahahaha holy shit, I haven’t thought of Battle Chess in decades. Giant rock rooks waddling over and beating linemen to death, sign me up.
“the last time Monday Night’s producers made an effort to lighten up, they added Dennis Miller to the booth”
The appropriate game metaphor for that game would have obviously been a Battle Chess slaughter where everyone on the Jets is systematically murdered. They should really have versions of that ready to go for every matchup if it turns into a blowout.
I like how 1-800-AAA-HELP looks a phone number turned into panicked scream.