The only thing preventing Avenatti from being the worst is Donald Trump’s continued existence.

My wife has a whole morning and evening makeup/makeup removal routine that she religiously sticks to every day because she says it makes her feel better. If part of that is because society has beaten it into her that she has to do all that before she leaves the house, then I feel bad because makeup or a lack of makeup…

Do we need to find him? I don’t really have anything against Pete, but like ... do we need to find him?

I’m actually sort of concerned that the karma boner I’ll get when Coach K gets his one day won’t ever be able to go down.

Maybe I used the wrong word. What I meant to say was desirability.

That’s good for their brand because In-N-Out is mediocre fast food that found success because of its relative difficulty to acquire for most of America.

I’m sure T’Challa will have Shuri run Wakanda in a blind trust.

When did being an unlikable and transparent fraud stop Trump during his campaign?

Well then you must have only watched the Fox News broadcast because it is literally impossible to file criminal charges on that accusation.

No one was facing criminal charges, you knob.

Excellent work.

I get why this tool exists, and I guess it serves an important purpose in that community, but this column is a good reason why I don’t play games like Overwatch.

If we ever get a chance to do bad things to his grave, someone please make sure I get a spot in line.

The internet is a weird place.

Greek life remains the absolute worst.

Baron is destined to become the most annoying Twitch streamer who has ever lived.

This. Why would you care who you trade Gordon to when you’re never going to see that team in the playoffs anyway?

If for no other reason than she visually appears to be the smartest of the three eldest Trump kids, I’d put my money on Ivanka. Eric is the only other possibility because DTJ is a buffoon.

I don’t get why my fellow white people need to take a class about how not to be a shithead around non-white people.

I assume he thinks Anne Frank was that blind chick he heard someone mention that one time.