I’ll send you the Venmo deets. Don’t worry. Totally legit.

It’s essentially a $10 dollar novelty gift card that can’t actually be used except as a one time, ten second joke and it’s not nearly as clever as you or it’s creator (maybe the same person) think it is. It definitely is shittier than the product it’s mocking. He could’ve achieved the exact same thing in a Tweet.

It really wasn’t, though. The parts with the band were enjoyable. You get caught up in the music and everyone looks the part, but the rest of the movie was Lifetime movie melodrama. It was impossible to be moved by any of it. Malek’s performance was pretty flimsy, too. It’s all flamboyance and plastic teeth. I don’t…

It really wasn’t, though. The parts with the band were enjoyable. You get caught up in the music and everyone looks the part, but the rest of the movie was Lifetime movie melodrama. It was impossible to be moved by any of it. Malek’s performance was pretty flimsy, too. It’s all flamboyance and plastic teeth. I don’t…

Okay.....I guess I’m not tapping out after End Game after all.

I finally watched it last weekend to see what all the hype was and I don’t get it all. I don’t know a single person who saw this film that didn’t love it and some of them are very knowledgeable film goers whose opinions I respect. I have no clue how this film fooled so many people.

Well, for $2000 I’ll come to your party when you’re trying to play CAH, throw a wet blanket over my head, knock the cards on the floor and yell “THIS ISN’T FUNNY, YOU MONSTERS!” until everyone goes home. It’s only half the cost for the same results, people. Call me.

Yes, but I’m not seeing the story of some smug asshole asking me to pay for him to put on a parody of a half-time show that’s even shittier than the actual shitty half-time show just so we can all feel superior together for a couple of minutes.

To be fair, no one had any idea that Carson Daly was still on the air, either and I doubt anyone in their twenties even knew who he was. She’s probably still more famous than Carson at this point to somebody. Not of any of us, but somebody.

He does. He’s a pastiche of very 90's “kewl” ideas that have aged badly. If it wasn’t for people and their nostalgia for 90's cartoons he would have been forgotten long ago. Also, as much as I like Channing Tatum, he was a terrible match for the cornball character.

The gender swap is the metaphor. I guarantee it. The suits at Universal who won’t give up willing these films back to life don’t get any more clever than that.

The gender swap is the metaphor. I guarantee it. The suits at Universal who won’t give up willing these films back to life don’t get any more clever than that.

Barsanti never misses an opportunity at snarkily showing us how woke he is, especially if there’s a whiff of celebrity controversy and he somehow missed bringing up Migos and homophobia. I think the Barsanti bot is broken.

Dr Strange and Captain Marvel both felt like Phase one films. The Ant Man films get by on charm and refreshingly low stakes, but aren’t much better. Even Civil War is a little shaky once you ignore the big battle scene, despite it’s attempts at darker material. People hate Iron Man 3, but I’ll take it over any of…

Yeah, I know they want a bridge between the current era MCU and the next one, but it feels really weird to bring a new character into the last chapter of the story to play a crucial role. I’d assume  they’re smart enough to let it come down to Cap and Iron Man in the end, but the late addition still feels off.

That’s about where I’m at too. I love some of the films, but there’s more of them that I either don’t really care about or don’t like at all. Take away people like Gunn, Waititi, Coogler ,The Russos and a couple of others and the most of the movies have been pretty cookie cutter. These films have succeeded mainly on…

I knew this article would bring out the gray fuckheads, but I have no idea what the loon ranting about Amber Heard is even talking about.

It’s unfortunately taken this long in society as a whole, so it’s not surprising Disney superhero films are this far behind. Especially with how long Perlmutter was running the show. The prick was afraid to have women in the films because of toy sales.

America has been a good character in the past. She’s just either given to lousy writers or given lackluster ensemble roles the last few years. I think she could be a breakout character if done properly. You might have a point with Hercules, though. I think he’s still viable, but movie audience might view him as a poor…

That’s what I’m saying, though. Everyone get’s their standard, cliche love interest, but other than a couple of characters, it’s never much more than a kiss and the character and/or romance being pretty much forgotten after that. I just wouldn’t expect much more than a same sex version of Jane Foster or what ever the…