No, that’s not what he’s telling you.

The sad thing is that there was just literally no way to predict this would happen. 

Oh suuure

It’s like massaging a walrus!

McCarthy was like a father to Aaron.

A source close to the team says [Equanimeous] St. Brown became frustrated because as much as he wanted to follow McCarthy’s play design, he also heard rumors of Rodgers freezing out teammates if they didn’t do exactly what he demanded.

Aaron Rodgers is Petty.

You mean the guy who is completely estranged from his family and basically every other human on the face of the earth was *also* petty with his teammates?

Would anyone be unhappy with a Bear Spiker-Pope Thrower final?

Having the voting on Deadspin really helps Bear Spiker’s chances.

“Lionel Pimpin” was also the reason the Commodores broke up

Missing 2 periods? Maybe he’s pregnant?

Giuliani did the most work trying to excuse the inexcusable.

Man its a good thing Italy didn’t potentially derail the career of its last great talent of African origin. And Juve wouldn’t have any experience with monkey noises being directed at said teen phenom.  They’d probably have learned something from that situation 

Itsa OK, Isa have a lotsa blacka friends!

Worst spy ever or just a decoy?

Pope Thrower is this years auburn. You don’t want to run into him until you absolutely have to

This region is a fucking bloodbath. There isn’t a bad name in the bunch and it has at least 5 of my 7 favorites. The selection committee should be ashamed.

Shades of Donkey Teeth.

It’s a travesty he’s up against Truman Peyote, which is also an incredible name.