Maybe we’re being too harsh on Wiggins, surely someone that well-paid fills the stat sheet in other ways, right?

Ladies and gentlemen...the new language of tanking! No longer will you have to hear “resting” or “slight ankle strain”, now it’s standard operating procedure to just put guys on a minutes restriction and eliminate the back to back games.

The special forces thing is a little bit silly, but the idea of having younger referees with better reaction times and eyesight isn’t that crazy.  

“ Encouraging defensive play of rookie Bruce Brown”

“That brings the payment of that $30,000 car to $552 per month. For folks on a budget that extra $50 can make a big difference.”

Wow...I’m guessing it’s to cut down on fraud?  

This is a very, very bad idea.  Falsifying an inspection sticker is typically a class 3 misdemeanor, and not a ticket.  Dumb way to get something on your record.

While there’s no question that he’s still a top 5 guy in the NBA (and probably would be if he played another 5 seasons), it’s clear that he’s not out for blood at this point.  If they win, they win...if not, oh well.  

I for one hope we can get back to the concept of Biblical marriage.  I’m so tired of arguing with my wife over which shows to DVR, and being able to sell her to some other guy, or lock her in the basement for a few years, or just get a concubine so that we could outvote her 2 to 1 would make life much simpler for me.  

“to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to me (unless it’s gay people) and to have a positive influence on all who come into contact with me (as long as they’re not gay).” 

Maybe the plate, but the inspection sticker in NY is going to be a problem.  Rotating colors means you can get away with it for about 11 months, then it’s a freaking beacon on the windshield saying “ticket me!”.

“My right to have a car without one!”

If you’re honestly commuting 2 hours in part because you don’t want to run a front plate, I would respectfully suggest that your priorities are way out of wack. Sure, it’s annoying, but 10 hours in the car a week level of annoyance? Nopesville.

This is hysterically wrong on so many levels that I assume it’s sarcasm.  Right?  

Advanced analytics!  

It’s like 4chan had a threesome with a Trump subreddit and some regional NHL fan page.  The shitty human beings that run Barstool, and the shitty human beings that form their comments section could disappear tomorrow, and no one would miss any of them.  

I legit snort-laughed at this.  Well done.  

“Before his arrest, Winslow was out on $2 million bail after being charged with multiple counts of forcible rape and kidnapping last summer.”

Wait until he realizes that the rest of us view him with his IPA the same way we view 19 year old girls and pumpkin spice lattes.

Criminally understarred.