How did you think the guy that made his bones on SNL in the 70's and 80's wasn’t old?

Still more appetizing than David Beckham’s.

IT’s like currency...

I fought under that flag, so take it from a veteran: it’s just a piece of cloth, for fuck’s sake. America’s ideals are what are important, and we are currently falling insanely short of them. I don’t give half a good goddamn is someone doesn’t “respect the flag” enough. What I care about are whether or not people…

The best way to make sure the tapes never get out would be to sell them to the Krem...I mean...Wikileaks.

I’d like to agree with you that she got what she deserves, but she appears to have made it out of the building as a billionaire with the power to ruin a generation of schoolchildren.

Green is for keep bringing steak and Red is to stop the steak. #Fogo.

Yea he definitely worded his reply wrong. Now if he would have said something like “Yes we screened them because we wanted to make sure that everyone from my district that was trying to attend would be able to do so” and then he could have thrown in a “if there were empty seats available after that then it would be…

You two should take this offline.

When I asked for a raise at work, HR pointed out that I had taken a lot of time off. I was under the impression we had unlimited PTO and every time I took time off my boss was completely fine with it. I’m now getting a new job.

All the bottles are still white, tho.

“Hmm, Baylor and Michigan State have been getting a lot of publicity recently for their institutional fuckups. Seems like nowadays, everybody wants to talk like they’ve got something to say; it’s almost like they forgot about Jay.”

Not just the Jets, before Superbowl 3 a lot of people still saw the AFL as a joke league there had been merger talks but nothing finalized. And pretty much every media outlet of the day predicted a Colts blow out to match the Packers blowouts in Superbowls 1 and 2. It was only after the Jets win that merger talks…

You said you are from Houston so I read this in an “angry oil tycoon” voice. It was a good choice in my opinion.

6. He just wants to kiss you.

Say it very quietly in New York City, but Brooklyn is on Long Island.

Ok, but let’s run this through to its logical conclusion. Insurance company has 2 sets of plans, 1 with newborn care, 1 without newborn care. The one without newborn care is of course cheaper. So everyone who intends to have a newborn will buy the newborn care plan, and everyone who does not plan to have a newborn…

Are you kidding? Who puts their computer desk right in front of the door?

Xenophobe. Personally, I make sure to balance my sports viewership between NBC Sports and Fox Sports so I can make sure I get BOTH sides of the story. #StayWokeBruh

Also, how the fuck is Alyssa not the #1 Milano in the ranking? The fuck kinda bullshit is this?