Of course Mother was there. There are women at those games. You can’t expect a godly Christian to walk into the buffet of temptation that is a stadium full of Colts fan women without spiritual reinforcements.

I’ve torn two ACLs. After the second I curled in a ball for about 10 minutes, then walked back over about a mile and a half of beach back to the car. ACLs hurt like someone is ripping your leg off for about3 minutes, then the nerves die and you can walk gingerly as long as the meniscus damage is limited.

Looked like an ACL to my (untrained but unfortunately experienced) eye. If so, I hope he’s currently enjoying the best painkillers money can buy, because that shit hurts.

Can we ban this shitty little weasel from every baseball stadium, already?

To be fair to pence, he does strongly believe the deployment of seamen is a sin.

So...he used the National Anthem as the grounds for his political demonstration?

Wait, the Kardashian link was seen as worse for the brand than the...y’know...other thing?

Ned would like everyone to know he smells like fresh cut grass and sunshine (because he really likes to roll around in fresh cut grass in the sunshine)

Yeah, I last worked in the industry like 13 years ago, and I didn’t even work with or around Harvey, and I knew, like, a LOT of this. It feels weird to even call it an open secret because it was SO not secret. Law firms wouldn’t assign young female associates to his stuff for fear they’d get the lawsuit when he…

“I would have destroyed the NRA earlier, guys, but there weren’t enough sexual harassment and assault allegations against me”

I live in Jersey. My roommate’s kid plays U-6 flag football (his dad signed him up). This story 100% checks out. The kids can barely all run the same direction, and they’re playing fucking FLAG and there’s always some moron out there screaming at them to “HIT SOMEBODY.” 5 year olds. It’s beyond fucking surreal.

While we’re all here, can we discuss the fact that a person who is PAID TO COMMUNICATE wrote the words “such as like in The Matrix”?

I’m honestly sort of surprised he didn’t tweet and rally support for both of them so that no matter what happened he could say he won. That’s what he usually does.

My roommate’s kid threw an hour-long fit because her brother decided to wear a rashguard to the pool one day. Kids are insane.

Moore is an asshole, but he will almost certainly not vote with McConnell. So I guess I still don’t care what Alabama does.

Great, now I’m gonna have the shirt-putting-on yips forever.

So embarrassing. Gosh, just the other day, I was casually walking along and tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and then I totally accidentally posted an N-word filled rant to a public social media site. And there were some cool kids RIGHT THERE. I was so embarrassed.

I swear to god these motherfuckers think Rosa Parks was protesting buses and Gandhi was protesting food.

Mike is...not enjoying this.

This is what you get when you go from “too craven to care” to “too stupid to know better.” Prepare for this to become the standard throughout government as the smart but totally asshole people Trump has currently put in charge realize they’re not helping themselves by working for him.