Guys, this is no laughing matter. Clearly this is going to be hard for Ted Cruz to get through, but if I know Ted Cruz, he’ll keep pounding it out as a member of the Senate. He has the ability to come back from this, but it’s going to take some intense work on himself first. There’s no doubt that this is a sticky…

So, Ted Cruz’s explanation here is that someone hacked his twitter and, instead of posting a long string of tweets admitting to the zodiac killings and paeans to soup, they...liked one porn tweet?

Wow. It’s still there.

Yep. Guessing she’s the only one who can actually handle him (not, like, on policy, but on a day-to-day basis) where he won’t get pissed off.

Guys, Louise Linton is sorry. Come on. We all make mistakes. Who among us hasn’t hashtagged outrageously expensive and inaccessible-to-99%-of-Americans clothing while stepping off a government plane that we maybe illegally borrowed so we could see an eclipse from the roof of Fort Knox, then told someone who offered…

It’s not worth the energy. Focus on what we can do. It’s a hell of a lot more satisfying.

I’ve been on the Tegan and Sara train too long to abandon them now...and I like this. I probably shouldn’t.

Donald Trump “pledging” to donate $1m and Donald Trump actually donating $1m are two very different things. My guess is this donation, if it happens, will be funded through the foundation, to which he actually contributes nothing.

She won all of the debates by double digits in the polls. Whatever eventually fucked her up, it wasn’t her debate decisions.

I’ve been to Arizona for spring training a few times. There’s one overbuilt mall, a shitload of medium-range hotels, and a bunch of chain restaurants. Nobody needs a new “village.” Spring training is fun. It’s not that much fun.

Blue apron for single people is kind of genius tbh. If they had like 4 one-person meals I would be on that shit.

Quit it with the fish and release the damn pee tape already. Christ dude you had one job.

Guys, I know we’re setting records at the big league level, but I’m gonna be out a couple days. Some dork in AA ball has a hitting streak and I gotta be sure it ends. You understand.

Thank you for my new favorite gif in life.

Yeah, this. My dude was a Republican until 2015. Anyone who was surprised wasn’t paying attention.

There are not enough liberals to elect a progressive in WV. There are chances for Blue Dog Dems like Joe Manchin, who caucus with Dems but bail on wedge issues like gun control, abortion, gay rights, etc. Still better than nothing - I’d rather have Manchin in the senate than have to find another R vote against…

In the past two days, we’ve learned the President called the White House “a real dump” and Stephen Miller just “well actually-ed” the poem on the fucking STATUE OF LIBERTY. What next? “That flag is really ugly, no gold. Sad!” “I like bells that don’t have cracks”?

This guy is like if a wizard granted a pinky ring’s wish to become a real boy.

I don’t really feel sorry for him, because he’s an asshole who’s told immigrants rights groups to “shut up,” but I do believe the imposition of any kind of chain-of-command style of management in this WH is going to be a laughable failure. Trump loves having a bunch of people trying desperately to curry his favor and…

A pretty similar hit came very close to killing Brandon McCarthy a few years back. Here’s hoping he’s ok.