I mean who are they limiting on these statues?

What’s the deal with statutes of limitation?

[Stained glass breaking, Handel’s Messiah blaring]

Austin 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life!”

[chugs beer]

Wait... That’s not right.

The real game of thrones was the friends we made along the way.

Feud is what you eat at suppeur.

Me-ow! Kashmir Conflict Continues in Subcontinent Catfight!

I like to refer to it as a “cat fight”, as in “India and Pakistan are in a cat fight.”

Hold on a second, so you are saying the whole premise of Family Feud is a lie?

At the very least, I need Robert De Niro’s son to fall in love with Mickey Rourke’s daughter or vice versa.

Can we please stop referring to a situation where two people don’t like each other as a feud?

I'm pretty sure "a fair shot" is her way of saying her daughter is so dumb that not even releasing a sex tape would get the poor girl anywhere.

I hate everything and I want to die.

“’JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN’? ‘JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN’? IF THERE IS ONE THING I’M DOING HERE, IT’S SHUTTIN’ UP AND LISTENING! I CAME HERE TO SHUT UP AND LISTEN! AND, ANOTHER THING...” ~ Kevin Hart

I don’t know how he can sit there asking why Lil Nas X felt the need to publicly come out and challenging him about internalized homophobia while simultaneously looking disgusted at the prospect of even having the conversation.

Hart asking “hate what?” and “why?” legitimately had me thinking this was some sort of skit for a minute.

Cum with me if you want to live...?

At least he admitted to his fowl conduct. Whatever else you might say about the man, you have to admit he’s no chicken.