Squeeze those farts out! No excuses!

My kids were both in public preschool. It’s free, but 2 hours and 45 minutes 4 days a week. Not sure what job I would get in that time slot (never mind the commute).

The baby will come out like a wreeeccckkking balllllll!

This calls for some Fannypack! Is your crotch hungry girl? Cause it’s eatin your pants

I like revivals in theory, but they’re usually just okay.

Smashed avacado onto sourdough toast with garlic salt. Favorite late night snack.

I’m getting old. I can’t believe I’m reading about people named Chyna and Tyga.

Guess I’ll have to post this again! So fucking hilarious and depressing.

I honestly thought this was a 4/1 prank.

Is a “guitar guy” a guitarist?

She’s still Jenny from the block.

I read the headline as “Rich Girl Works or Does Not Work"

this muppet?

This is the real story here people. I mean, really!

You’re not really missing the “old” Banana Republic unless you’re old enough to remember when the store sold safari wear. It was my favorite place to visit in the mall because it had palm trees, sand on the floor, and a bamboo bridge inside. My god it was rad.

Totally emo.

My pediatrician recommended the same thing when I was a kid. However, it didn’t work and I still can’t do a cartwheel and stub my toe at least once a day.

I like the idea, but the shipping, packaging and dry cleaning replace fast fashion in another wasteful way.

Her memoir is so much fun. You can help but read it in a thick Queens accent.

The bank robber girls aren’t Ronettes style, but a play on all the bad girls from Russ Meyer’s films.