You started off weak, but gained strength as you went on. The 7th Amendment protects my right to say that, as I have no peers to be tried by.

I would say that Jay-Z now has 99 worsening problems.

+1

Nah, that’s crap, for many reasons.

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

I think I heard some years back that there was a patent on some kind of super-fuel efficient carburetor, and Big Oil bought it up and put it on ice to keep things status quo in the fuel industry. I can totally see something like that happening.

I definitely believe the Knicks’ envelope was frozen or otherwise tampered with in the 1985 draft lottery. NOTE: I am not Bill Simmons.

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

jfc i cannot imagine having this dilemma