Clearly the bluetooth fire pit is so you can customize the color of the flame from your couch. Get with it, dude. And the wireless toaster—I don’t know about you, but my mornings are hectic and a well-toasted english muffin in the middle of rush hour traffic really helps keep me focused on the day ahead.

Damn, even the NBA can’t help but drop a deuce on the Suns with their PR efforts.

You have difficulty reading so I’m helping you.

Feel free...

Your mother’s ass is calling. It wants you back.

False.

Did you just assume my gender?

You forgot to log back into your burner account.

Hey, welcome back to planet Earth. We’ve missed you. Feel free to use LOL, short for “laugh out loud” or “laughing out loud” in the future if you feel so inclined. This abbreviation is not necessary in the traditional grammatical sense, but is still accepted amongst the greater community. Once again, welcome back,…

Someone on the backend redirected me to this Jezebel article from Deadspin. Please look into this mistake. Thx.

Should he stick around to stitch up the wounds?

Check your privilege.

what’s your address

There was literally one dish to avoid in this article. The wings.

I would imagine fast food has changed a lot within the last 20 years.

That’s plan B.

Every time I hear “MASHED POTATOES” I want to punch a hole through my TV.

The center released a statement saying Hernandez had Stage 3 CTE; the scale runs from one to four.

The [YES] credit at the end of the article here threw me off at first.

This makes sense. Cumin appropriate for those ethnic flavor blends.