The things being said about Madonna and about the ex of David Bowie may or may not be true. What I do know is the way in which they are talked about is infused with sexism and a cultural narrative that punishes women unless they are willing to do all the heavy lifting and shut up about it.

We also have a traditional cultural narrative in the US that mom’s are supposed to do all the heavy lifting as parents and men just step in when they need to. This means that often women are the “controlling” parent...not because they are harpies, but because the father is abdicating his daily role.

“Yeah. I mean, I see it with my really close friend, and she has virtually no relationship with her daughter since she chose to live with her really permissive father and started spinning out.”

“. But my knowledge of teens leads me to believe that Rocco just wants to live with whichever parent is up his ass about rules and behavior less. We can speculate all we want, but I’m convinced this is mostly just a case of a teen who wants to have more freedom to do whatever he wants, and his dad provides that”

“The thing is if you let him make that choice and handle it well he will come back to you. Forcing him will only breed resentment and have longer-term implications.”