Here in Canada, we do ours in 3 months and that already feels like forever.

All you need is a laser pointer, some small mirrors, masking tape, and a smoke machine.

Or we could get him some good donuts. 

No.

The thing about CBS All Access is, do you know anyone who is actually signed up for it because I don't. Everyone that watches the 1 or 2 shows that they have that are worth having are pirating them. 

We call that childhood.

I feel like most use of boiling for a cooking method came after pots and pottery came about. Until then, it is amazing what you can do with a pointy stick.

I blame those books for my brother's ill managed experiments with primitive weapons and me getting shot with a home made bow and arrow. I still have the scar in my arm.

It is easier to eat a burger when you slice it in half. You eat it middle out and you don't have as much stuff sliding out the far side of the burger. You also get to the best part first.

And there’s no one there to raise them if you did.

Are you complaining that a word's meaning evolved? 

If you want to lose weight or ‘live healthier’, it has to be a full lifestyle change and not a diet. This means making choices that you can live with like drinking less, being more conscious of what and how much you eat, and cutting things out. It also needs to include treating yourself because you should reward…

Royal Bank. I am up in Canada. They sucked the big one. They would hold all my cheques for a week (a bullshit practice) and had all kinds of surprise fees.

Please don’t pollute Mars with their deviancy.

A pudding cup is like 4 spoonfuls. People should just get their own.

I generally slice my burger in half so that I can eat it middle out, but, still, get your own fucking burger.

Because banks like to nickel and dime the shit out of people.

I don't know where you are, but credit unions here in Canada do it all.

I left my bank for a credit union after my bank turned me down for a small car loan on the grounds that ‘I didn’t have enough credit history’. The credit union looked at the fact that I had a stable job and the small amount of credit history I had was all good. I paid off the loan earlier and stayed.

Simple and easy. Just remember to keep a melee weapon under your seat. Something short but with a lot of reach, if you need it.