That dog is my spirit animal.

Any pparents who buy their 1 year old a pile of gifts are just wasting their money. Just wrap up their favorite gifts and they will be all “fuck yeah! That is where that went!!”

Did you know there was a Spaceballs Animated series?

Waffle cake sandwiches are the best. Put some nutella or jam in there. Not good for you but definitely delicious. 

How do you do neapolitan flavor? If feel like it misses the point.

I have been making breakfast sandwiches in waffles for years. I also add a hashbrowns patty to my breakfast sandwich as it makes it a complete comfort breakfast.

Melania probably never expected him to live this long. She probably figured on 5 years of marriage, tops, before she fucked him into a heart attack. 

Getting bed bugs is something that Ibam more afraid of than having my home broken into or burned down.

Ugh. The 'boys will be boys' bullshit is why I rarely see my brother. Him and his wife had 3 boys in rapid succession and they are nightmares when I comes to behavior. What is worse is that they give me shit for scolding their boys when they do stuff like throwing stuff at me or trying to punch me.

Hve it specify that children aren't allowed. I bet they aren't allowed on the quiet cars on trains either.

I stopped using dryer sheets years ago as they really don't do all that much. These balls pretty much are the same deal. 

I stopped using dryer sheets years ago as they really don't do all that much. These balls pretty much are the same…

They could offer a quiet section. Market it like those train cars where people aren’t allowed to talk, have their ringer on, or play videos with sound.

You might want to google that.

Freeze it to your lips and tongue when you try to consume it.

I just assume that a coffee with cream popsicle already exists. More or less coffee ice cream.

They are real as in they are teeth in his mouth. I assume they are ceramic veneers. God, it looks like someone fucked up some photoshop.

Hide RFID tags in them (those security tags they have at stores) and set up sensors at the doors (you can get them for cheap from a store close down) so that an alarm is set off whenever someone tries to leave with them.

That is almost disappointing.

I don’t feel like the application or exclusion of lube on a cactus would affect the end result of inserting said cactus into an orfice of their choice.

Not going to lie, I would be curious to see what Jeffrey Dahmer's model train set looked like.