if you believe that 5 time Superbowl winning 2018 NFL MVP Hall of Fame *18 Year* dynasty leading veteran millionaire coming in as a 6th Round (#199) draft pick with a super model wife is “debilitatingly insecure.” Whatever helps you sleep at night.

They can franchise him and risk ending up in a Cousins/Skins situation.

Brady in 20 years:

No, like any other fancy dog, he will spend his days on a leash held by his lovely wife.

Because the reigning opinion is brady is getting very insecure, and if they told Jimmy G he’ll be starting in 2 years and brady finds out...he said he wants to play as long as he can; can you imagine how much of a shit-fit he’d throw if they told his backup when they’re transitioning him out of the starting role?

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Age gets everybody. Read the literature. Jimmy G was not a threat to Brady. His own legs are. Imagine if a miffed Belichek leaves and Brady crashes, what has Kraft got left? Feels like Shakespeare

Was the bar really that high before though?

The story says that Brady wasn’t much of a mentor to Garoppolo (which might make his strong success out of the gate as a starter all the more impressive), and that at one point, Garoppolo went to visit Brady’s quack-ass “trainer” Alex Guerrero—truly the Yoko Ono of this story—and was straight-up locked out of the…

A lot of 49er fans who live in SF are so excited for next season that they’re leaving for Levi’s Stadium this afternoon so they can be there in time for the first home game of the 2018 season.

Or....BB did everything he could to try and keep Jimmy G and when it became obvious he couldn’t he traded him out of conference for the best haul available.

God, if you can hear me, look - I don’t ask for much, please please please let Garoppolo beat Brady in a super bowl.

I very much accept this theory. (One Pats beat guy DM’d me to offer the same theory.)

There’s a strong chance he goes full on Howard Hughes and holes himself up in a room pissing into jars so his trainer can analyze it for impurities, or thetans, or strawberries.

Tagging him makes the most sense right now for the 49ers. He gets a year to show them he won’t turn into a pumpkin before they pay him the money they would’ve paid him anyway.

Counterpoint: You are actually in The Bad Place and Brady is never going to retire and will just keep on winning Super Bowl’s.

I think you missed the real conspiracy theory, that Belichik traded Garoppolo to Brady’s childhood team out of spite to Brady. One last twist of the knife making Brady watch as Garoppolo goes on to great success with the team he grew up watching and likely always wanted to play for?

My favorite takeaway from this whole spicy drama is that when the inevitable reckoning happens, and Tom Brady is forced to retire, he’s going to turn into a shriveled-up miserable shitbag. He is so insecure about his job because he can imagine a life without football, a life will be forced upon him some day. And when…

Plus it tastes really good with bourbon, presuming you only put like a drop or three in tops.

Thanks Tom!

I’m all the way here for anything that paints the Pats as thirsty dumb-dumbs who have been lining up to get a taste of Terrific Tom’s Totally Real Touchdown Tonic.