If a child crying for a minute is a sign they should be left home then toddlers should just never appear in public, ever.

That 31 year old colleague sounds like they are more emotionally and socially liberated than you.

No other species has fully-formed sentience, either, which isn't a terribly good excuse to stop using our brains to get on their level. I fart on this article.

I have always believed (since I was about twelve or so, when the first Mortal Kombat dropped) that someone, somewhere needs to make a parody game called Mortal Wombat. I would buy the hell out of it—particularly if it involved Koalities.

He's entitled to tell you the they are entitled, and I'm entitled to to say that I'm entitled to say that he's entitled to say that they are entitled.

Link this to Jezebel. It's because of the Patriarchy that these two MALES survived.

Spare your wealth arguments for another site. Poor people in Civics and GTIs speed too.

As opposed to a guy running around with a GoPro in his mouth?

"instead of to the strange flying person who's always following Snake and panning down to his butt at inappropriate times"

Er... what? What is there in book one to suggest it?

Nowhere near as satisfying as Peach's "La la la la laaa laa" taunt.

"#wannakillmyself"

Yea! Look at them loser bandwagon fans! They only want to go to a game when the team is entertaining. Real fans will gladly hand over cash to a billion dollar business no matter how bad the team is. Mike Myers hasn't made a good movie since the first Austin Powers. But that didn't stop me from seeing The Love Guru…

For years, scientists struggled to really prove, mathematically, why dividing something by 0 would make it undefined. Thank you Emory, you have done what was previously thought to be undoable.

"Do you want me to say that every time, because I've said it a shitload of times tonight."

What?! :O

Bankruptcy.

Wait, it's NOT a sport? What the hell did THIS happen? Ugh, enough, we get it. Now go watch your fucking TV show on HBO about Dragons.