Jesus they are dumb. You can get a three bedroom above 59th st on both the east and west side for way less than that. Above 110, you can get a three bedroom for easily $2500. So, yeah, they can live in Manhattan, and live in better neighborhoods, for way cheaper. What a bunch of fools. I’m sure I could find a three…

3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, big dining room, big kitchen, bonus room/man cave, big back yard, 2 car garage, 14 hours from NYC. $1100 month mortgage.

The only reasonable explanation is that they are vampires. The only unique feature of the Financial District is that a couple of the streets never see natural light. Plus, it’s plenty deserted at night for them to pick off the other people stupid enough to be there after hours.

Moving to another borough would afford the foursome much more space for less money, of course, but like many newcomers, they are willing to make certain sacrifices to stay in Manhattan.

From a legal perspective, putting your hands up defensively, taking a step back and saying loudly, you’re not looking for trouble or don’t want to fight, can be some important testimony in the future if you do end up fighting. Especially if you win.

You’re right, I had the wrong info. I’ve corrected it in the piece.

“which would be staggering if it weren’t topped by Fisher’s personal streak of 13 consecutive non-winning seasons”

JEFF FISHER: I’m not fucking going 7-9!

*One finger of the Monkey’s Paw closes*

“We’re not having fun, we’re not enjoying any of this, it’s awful, and it’s hard” — but enough about L.A. traffic, Jared! Seriously though, Kroenke got it wrong-ke. Jeff Fisher better start using some different bait! Whoops, I’m getting the sign.. look like my three minutes is up, folks. You’ve been great, all seven…

On the bright side, the brawling in the stands of the Coliseum has turned out to be absolutely top notch.

You mean the fact that Deadspin can’t link to NFL videos but the NFL CAN link to Deadspin videos?

No hypocrisy whatsoever.

The candy metaphor is super layered. Either he’s like hard candy and breaks all the time, or he’s like a Twizzler and flails around.

Man, NPR has been dialing up the sports coverage lately....

He’s in Texas - that’s every station.

Eli you have exactly 10 fucking seconds to wipe that disgusting smile off your face after you get picked off or I will gouge out your eyes and skulk fuck you!

It was sad when he dropped his clipboard on the sidelines yesterday and sorrowfully waited several minutes for an unpaid Cowboys intern to come and pick it up for him.

Tony Romo’s collarbone isn’t real, though.

I’d gloat, but the Giants are one game from having a QB controversy after the frustrated defense takes turns beating Eli with socks full of soap bars.

Tony Romo: Yeah baby! Romo’s Back!
Tony Romo: *Crumples from excruciatingly painful spinal injuries*