Talk to your meteorologist if your storm lasts longer than 4 hours.

Or that 2016 ain’t over and God has a few more tricks up his/her/its sleeves. A.k.a., we, or at least the not-so-bad people of Portland are about to get fucked.

Inevitably, everything associated with Portland is perceived as dickish.

I would imagine the blue, ball-like section will be dispersed once the orange enters the warm, moist red section...

Winter Storm Richard

Can’t say I blame him- I’d want to live in an alternate reality, too, if I’d blown a 3-1 Finals lead.

Some folks just aren’t afraid to show their stupid to the world.

At least we can’t blame the American education system for him. He was only at Utah for 2 years.

One of the few courts where being white is a disadvantage.

I grew up in a black neighborhood, went to a black school, and played ball with mostly black kids. The first time (in high school) I went to a mostly-white rec center I saw so much of this shit that I thought it was some kind of white ritual I’d missed out on growing up in Houston.

Some history:

It’s been just two years since the Jets’ most recent housecleaning, when Rex Ryan’s and John Idzik’s John Idzik’s and Rex Ryan’s forced Laurel and Hardy routine went crashing into the bandstand.

While I sometimes refer to the team as ‘us,’ the Colts aren’t my girlfriend.

The only way that punt could have been funnier was if the Colts faked it.

It feels like you’re unaware of who they are and what they do despite widespread news coverage on the subject!

The Salvation Army is objectively bad. Don’t give to them.

Nope.

And while my views on monogamy and infidelity are nuanced, I *really* didn’t appreciate being an accessory to his cheating.

I knew a guy for years that I thought was single. We’d hit the bars be each other’s wingmen and help one another hook up.

Then one day I met his girlfriend of 5+ years.

Her: “I’ve heard so much about you!”
Me: “Wish I could say the same...”

THIS. I actually made my “bf” at the time listen to that clip and he got SUPER pissed at me. About a year after we broke up, I met his “new” girlfriend, and she was like “Oh I am not new, we’ve been together two years.” He looked like he was about to puke all over me.

That last one reminded me of Chris Rock: If you’ve been dating a man for four months, and you haven’t met any of his friends, you are NOT his girlfriend!