Fourteen year old me wanted to jump his bones so badly. Oh Legolas! So pretty! So aloof! So detached! And then I saw Orlando Bloom in other things and realised that his slightly blank stare and head tilting were not him perfectly capturing the otherworldliness of the elves, that is actually just how he acts. Who told…

I love that the satanists have been able to carry out such an epic level troll on the fundie right like this. I’m not religious at all but it gives me a certain level of joy.

“was required to sign a contract transferring the property of their souls to Satan. This, we felt, would filter out the extreme superstitious radicals, and it worked.”

Says you. Imma gettin’ my ox if it’s the last thing I do.

I had a very similar experience. Except in my case it was Duran Duran and the Cranberries. :(

I’d much rather read 500 Days of La China than about that Kirsten woman or whoever she is.

The hubs and I are about to celebrate our 10th anniversary & I have recently been asked the details of our wedding by lots of my younger co-workers. I regale them with tales of weddings before Pinterest. We picked out one of 3 or 4 options for everything & didn’t worry if every detail reflected our personal brand. We…

I’ll raise you

Let’s keep this simple. Was there booze? Good wedding.

Nope. That honor goes to my dad. He did foot the bill because my mom insisted (and it was really her show, which I was fine and happy with), but other than that, he acted nothing like a father of the bride or even a half-ass guest. He didn’t smile, he acted very put-upon, he didn’t converse with the guests, and he…

Your wedding sounds goddamned delightful. I want to start a service where, if you know you have to invite someone awful, you invite me and I glare at them and eat the food and gush about how good it is to you. Like a designated mourner, but for weddings.

I’m 35 and STILL call my mom and dad’s friends Mr. First Name or Ms. First Name. I was raised that way. I just cannot, in good conscience, call them by their first names like we’re peers or age-mates. We’re not and, to me, anything less is disrespectful. Curiously, however, I’m not a stickler on that rule for how the…

These kinds of pieces come up from time to time and they always miss the most important part: teach your kids to ask what someone wants to be called, then call them that. They prefer Mrs. Snoghorn you call them Mrs. Snoghorn. They prefer Fat Amy, you call them Fat Amy. True etiquette is not calling someone something…

Southerner here. So yeah it’s Ms. This and Mr. That or Sir or Ma’am. That’s just the way it is. Not creepy at all.

“Stupid men can’t be blonde,” you say?

As a self enlightened individual, you have to understand the irony of the male feminist showing up to tell the ladeez to keep down the snark.

It's actually pretty easy, if you know what you're doing.

I was going to respond to this guy, but I've already written him back twice and I am turning a new leaf over with regard to dudes who come to Jez looking for a fight, which is: stay calm and ignore. Anyway, can I just point out the absurdity of the total confidence with which these PUA types fling out pseudoscience?…

So. You are a dude who likes ladies. And ladies don't seem to like you back. What do you do?