But sir, we already found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.   

Miles Wood? Yeah, no...pretty sure it’s James Franco in a Seth Rogen wig.

Are you seriously trying to blame Barack Obama for inequality? Please list specific examples of actions taken by Obama that you believe led to an increase in inequality.

The wealthiest didn’t earn as much money in 2008 because the republican president and the republican congress crashed the economy that year.

Yeah. That’s called the financial markets recovering from the financial crisis. And Obama’s ability to tax high earners was obviously constrained by a Republican Congress. Idiot.

As a ball-haver, I’ll say this. Getting hit in the balls is awful. But if men are going to be bigger and stronger (generally, there are a lot of women that could kick my ass in a fair fight) then women absolutely should go after the balls when threatened. I taught my sister that, I taught my nieces that, and it’s the…

I can’t recall, but the posters put Gosling foremost (subliminal message: “It’s like Drive! But with motorcycles!”), and he’s onscreen for about 1/3rd of it. And like with Drive, you get the sense his preparation for the role was, “what are this guy’s cool-ass hobbies? ... And what kind of cool-ass clothes does he…

too much editorializing for my taste

WARNING: Foam finger not to scale.

Deadspin is a Cardinals numbers/piggy poop balls/Oddible McDowell’s water bill/insane Russian drivers/bears/Virgilbag/Bills fans website that is also right in knowing that Trump is an undercooked grilled cheese sandwich with corn silk on his head (holler, foodspin) and is a very bad human being.

Glad someone else caught that. WRONG WORD, YOU HAUGHTY FUCK.

Drive is very dreamy. Gosling sucked me into that movie becasue he’s perfected the art of giving you the idea that he’s about to do something but then it never happens. Like a diver poised on the edge of the board for two hours who then turns around and goes home dry. Ryan Gosling’s acting is blue balls.

I have never read or seen “The Notebook” but I have gone canoeing and kayaking in Brice’s creek (where the story takes place). I have seen the alligators that live there.

The Big Short is good but Gosling is just OK in it. Carrell is the best, but having read the book, he’s a little over the top preachy, as is the movie -- and I say that agreeing with the movie’s message.

I’ll add this: his PR people are very good. He’s a completely ordinary handsome actor, but the celebrity media world has been convinced that he’s deep and somehow on another level. It’s good work.

How does it feel to be the wrongest person today?

Here, a home for you and your opinions.

I didn’t think a single minute of “Nice Guys” was boring or padded. Finally an action movie that didn’t come out of a damn comic book. Plus, there are babes swimming around in aquarium.

When I was backpacking through Europe, my mom put money into my bank account specifically to buy her an Hermes scarf. She had one from the early 1970s that was finally falling apart after much love, and wanted a replacement. I got kicked out of the main Hermes store on C-E - for being young, and clearly not the type…

I’m just surprised at the ease with which she returned the fake bags in place of the real bags. The last time I tried to return a $20 tote bag to TJ Maxx I had to provide the receipt, three personal references, the surveillance footage of the purchase transaction and guess the troll’s name. Steve. His name was Steve.