Pence is so damn generic looking. He looks like the stock photo of "Republican Politician" someone googled to put on a powerpoint.

If it had been Selina Meyer, Gary would have been all over this.

“he said to his staff member who was standing there, ‘Did you know she was in Congress?’ And she said, ‘Well, I saw her pin.’”

Just an observation I’ve made as I’ve gotten older, to certain types of men women over a certain age are pretty much invisible. Ryan seems like exactly that type of guy.

Oh I thought from the picture you were going to say he didn’t recognize Pence (who used to be in Congress), which would have been fucking hilarious.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE REST OF MY DAY

I have seen so many tabloid covers screaming about the rumored divorce of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that news of their actual divorce hit me not like a ton of bricks, but like a gentle dusting of old, scraped off grout from in between a ton of bricks.

hes too young for the time frame they were talking about

Oh DAMN.

is this gonna be like a ben affleck thing where brad goes and lives in george clooney’s pool house for a few months because

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. This is the exact kind of celebrity gossip that I need to balance out the horror that is this election year.

Why don’t you take a moment to think about this callous and irrelevant remark?

At the time of publication, yes. Believe me, I looked. I sure as hell wasn’t going to lead with the footage of him bleeding out; it obscures his face, and deprives him of personhood. Not to mention that it’s deeply triggering.

Look, obviously I want to learn the identity of the A-list celebrity pedophile before anyone else. Indeed, this is basically my right as a voracious online tabloid reader.

So once upon a time, there was a website named Gawker that liked to make concrete statements about people while attributing the info behind them to “anonymous sources...”

Poor Corey Haim.

I’m not saying Taylor is trying to cover up drowning a woman, but people are talking about it. They’re talking. You hear it everywhere. Someone should look into that, because something is definitely going on there. Sad!

Fuck integrity lets get that money!

Dude, if I were the poor sister I would tell bride sister to absolutely take rich sister’s money. Then we could split the cash to go do something awesome just the two of us. And if we’re feeling bitchy we could plaster pics all over Facebook of our great time together. We could even tag mean sister like, “Without Mary…