We all need more orange in our lives.

Why does it take so much freakin' time to buy a car? I've bought five cars new in my lifetime and I've never spent less than 3 hours at the dealership, even when price, exact car and financing was agreed ahead of time over the phone or email. Do you guys get paid commission on the coffee vending machine?

Or just shine the laser through the bottle!

Whisky. With frikkin' lasers.

Like figuring out the authenticity of Nissin chicken flavor? No fake MSG for me!

It wasn't exploded from 15,000 feet, the thing was as big as a schoolbus and filled with a heavy metal (lithium.) They exploded it on the ground, and there's a massive circular hole in the island to this day. Oppenheimer joked at the time that the best delivery device for it would be an ox-cart. Hardly an effective…

Where's the trailer? It's a wee rig.

Maybe it's depreciation is such that it's worth -$2,000 after 3 months?

When I was a teenager (90's) in Scotland the Lada Riva was the epitome of crappiness. Both our next-door neighbors had one and the kids came in for all sorts of crap on the playground.

@ThreeLitre: this

@Adidas: Mine too. And all my friends. Sheesh.

I don't see a bad one in here.

Sounds lovely, but won't they have to pay more on toll bridges?

Beer Lao! That's all I care about.

Racer 5 for breakfast, Hop Rod Rye for tea. A couple drams before bed. I'm gonna live for ever.

As a native-born Scot I am hugely offended by this, and consequently only use duct tape when I wrap gifts - usually tchotchkes I got from some lame-ass conference that my employer sent me to.

I'd be down on my hands and knees quick like in that situation. Adult humans seem to forget that crawling is very stable.

Can't catch a break? Oh come ON. I'm sure he's crying himself to sleep on his diamond encrusted mink pillow.

Thank you for posting this rebuttal.