Remember this, everyone?

Pro tip: If you have to create a situation ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than the situation the grown ups are talking about to prove your point...You might not be ready to talk with the grown ups yet.

Counter-counterpoint: You are a piece of shit. These people are just trying to survive. Fuck off you cunt.

Tom Llamas will report you to the homeowners association for having grass that is slightly too long.

Tom Llamas won’t share his HBO Go password with his fiance.

Tom Llamas will send your boss a weekly summary of how many times you went to the bathroom.

You must have misread. Says right there he did call the cops.

Unrelated: Tom Llamas also gets out of the shower to pee.

Tom Llamas drives 55 mph, even when passing a truck.

For real. Yesterday someone on MSNBC was talking to a man from the national guard, they were broadcasting the call. The reporter asked if the national guard guy had any important messages to convey- his answer was, “DON’T SHOOT. If people are in stores taking food and supplies, they are in survival mode, and we’re…

On a related note:

Apparently, what those “looters” should’ve done is to open a store and then loot their customers.

Wait, wait, hold up: I do not take it easy on children (or love interests) in board games. Or video games. Or bowling. Or putt putt. If they want to win they’ve got to earn it.

Tom Llamas is a paid umpire at his son’s Little League games.

And it’s not like the store’s insurance is going to do anything but total the entire contents of the store rather than nickel and diming, looking for every can of tomato sauce and copy of In Style that can still be sold.

Tom Llamas is OK with drawing a walk in beer league softball.

Product lives matter

Merchandise are people too, people forget that.

sadly for the rest of us, his actions are irreversible and he remains a deeply shitty person

I bet he was a hall monitor.