You have to give her SOME credit. It's hard to make it in journalism these days when you're secretly a cat with a lime on its head.

I once saw a very drunk, very confused young man trying to stick a beer bottle up his ass whilst crying. I was at a party and went to an upstairs restroom, only to see that monstrosity. When he saw me, he didn't stop, but just stared deeply and sadly into my eyes. I then gently closed the door and left that house…