That was a touching scene. Brad Marchand is still an asshole, though.

I finally opted to not vote for the Pope. I feel so dirty. Like I need a fresh pair of pants or something.

Another US loss in Vietnam. You hate to see it.

Maybe they will meet-cute, fall in love and have a baby:  Jizz Thrower.

haha, you’re crazy, that was awesome.

I worry for her now that he’s been fired. As she said, he knows where she lives. Everything about this is so bad.

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You beat me to it.

“In the sixth minute of a scheduled five minutes of stoppage time” is so misleading that it has to just be trolling.  The ball literally went into the net at 5:01, and that was after Onana was booked for time-wasting, having run nearly a minute off the clock.

I read it as a joke that landed flat. Basically saying that no overtime in the Cup playoffs will beat that NBA playoffs overtime.

Great write-up Barry. Also, though Ben Bishop turned in one of the best playoff performances ever last night, he is still a diving faker. 

While an instantly legendary showing from Stars goalie Ben Bishop

Firing the coach won’t be enough to turn this team around. They need an inspiring, local new sponsor:

I liked “Which Hand” way more than the consensus here, obviously. Cecily Strong nails the contempt before even saying a word, and “but I won’t respect you, and I’ll make sure the kids don’t either” might be the best line in the show. I also liked “Has This Ever Happened to You” more than a lot of the sketches that…

McAvoy and Anderson hugged in the post game line and Mike Emrick sounded like he needed a tissue and maybe a cigarette.

<pedantry/> Melanin. Melatonin is that stuff that helps you sleep. But your point remains a good one. (Side note: why the hell is JD Martinez going? Is is just because he’s really into guns?)

In related news, Tim Thomas will be making his 11th trip to the White House this year, stating that “one more punch on my visitors card and I get a free well done steak”

the list of players attending sounds about white

If the color beige learned to play music, this is what it would sound like.

The mayonnaise of indie rock, if you please.