BAH BAH, JEEM

“This game would be a lot more fun with teammates”

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I’m 100% on her side and 100% opposed to the alt-right. On the other hand, her special was not good. I’m a fan of her show, and I liked her movie a lot, and I liked her previous special, but this one sucked, frankly.

“Finally! A story about MAML’s getting fucked over on ice!”

You’d have to be seriously insane to consider this kind of bizarre behavior. Running for miles and miles. Nuts, I say.

He got a multi-million dollar judgement, makes about a half-million every year, and has championed pulling he ladder up behind him and making sure no one else isn’t helped by the laws that helped him. If it makes you feel any better, he has some 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his legs from spilling boiling water on…

I lived in Texas my whole life and never realized Greg Abbott was in a wheelchair until a few years ago (when I no longer lived in Texas). I guess him being so heartless and cruel, I didn’t expect he had ever overcome his own adversity.

Since the Texans have been a franchise, they’ve won more playoff games than the Cowboys during the same period.

“C’mon guys, that was obviously a joke. You know, like the Texans.”

This is not to piss on Ilitch’s generosity—he helped pay part of Rosa Parks’ rent late in her life—but rather to point out what many won’t, or at least haven’t. Ilitch was simply a tremendously wealthy pizza mogul with a bad wig who exploited the city council, capitalized on a depressed real estate market, and spent…

Deadspin: This just in, imperfect human lived imperfect life. Jesus Christ.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

Rest in Pizza-Pizza

Nerd alert.

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

When did this happen? Now I can’t stop seeing Uncle Shaq...

Wouldn’t be the first time in Waco.

The argument I’ve seen is “that’s because unlike Obama supporters, Trump supporters HAVE JOBS.”

He cut it off at the shoulders because young Rovell is ROCK HARD in that picture.

Yes, this. I'm convinced that people keep forgetting there are intelligent, liberal, religious people because we aren't the type to go on crazy rants or do obnoxious shit that gets put on the news.