Shanita, this was hard to read, but thank you so much for writing it.

“Ten months later, he’s found not guilty of robbery in the first degree.”

It’s the spoofing by the callers that makes the do not call list entirely useless. Since they usually have no claim to the number that shows up on your caller ID (which is probably a real person’s number not connected at all to the caller), there is really no way to track down the offenders.

It’s spelled Loren. If he admires her, he should know how to spell her name. It isn’t hard. #spellingpedantry

It is illegal to send “unrequested messages with commercial content.”

I always had the impression that rolls royces were cars where you sat in the back seat and had someone drive you around, not a boat car you drive yourself. Am I wrong? Have they changed the design?

I “retired” at 40. I figure that that leaves me the option, like Jordan, Favre and Pettitte, that if I get a REALLY good offer, I can get back in the game, but otherwise I’m done. Buncha lying assholes, all of ‘em.

Much love! I don’t know if you want kids, but I never have. When acquaintances pointedly ask me about family planning, I say “I’m barren.” I know that’s petty, but people are rude.

I thought that was weird too, but I think it’s a clue that somewhere there’s a Democratic President right now. We just have to get to that timeline.

And she just HAS to say “Republican president”.

Another 30 something southern woman who quit men awhile back! Solidarity.

Jenny Slate must have a huge dick.

From Evans to Hamm? Damn, that’s going from the sundae bar to the pastry buffet! GET IT, GIRL.

I quit men and people are so confused by it. The guys I’ve dated have been trash. I should go on a dating site, it will happen when I least expect it, blah blah blah. I’m mid-thirties and southern, so my parents gave up a while ago, bless. Everyone else can STFU.

I would buy it in a second if it didn’t have “LDR” engraved on one side. Which is why I’m searching the internet for an alternative! I want to put glitter in it.

I’m way too old for it and will never use it, but I’m acquisitive and had to have it the moment I saw it.

My favorite English teacher ever (7th and 8th grade), gave us a spec list of what he expected our papers to look like, and showed us how to make that happen in word. I think he refused to accept assignments that didn’t conform to the guidelines:

I do not understand the need to use inspirational quotes in ANY email signatures, let along work emails. I have someone at my office who has one about being kind, and like, it’s a nice sentiment and all, but to me you may as well have a MySpace-style dancing teddy bear with glitter blinging all over it.

Oh yeah. And the colored, calligraphic signature that’s so stylized you can’t actually decipher their contact information unless you copy/paste it to another document.

One sure sign this is correct: every single person (read: psycho) that has an inspirational quote in their email signature uses some odd ass font for the quote. Exponential crazy.